My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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