stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
