in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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