my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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