dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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