So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
