We're like a lot better than the average bears
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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