i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
