He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
