I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
