I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize