We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
