if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize