i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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