Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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