I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
