If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
