so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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