Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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