Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
