last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
