i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
