I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
