walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
