I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
