so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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