somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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