you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
