sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize