I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize