so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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