She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
