Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
