Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
