Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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