my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
