All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize