I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
