I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
