I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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