508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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