That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
