When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He better not be in your backpack
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize