I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
