I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
