zippers are such a cool invention
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
