READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
