so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
