True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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