IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i need some magic done to my vagina
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
