My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
