i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
