I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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