oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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