i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
