My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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