So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
