not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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