Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
