saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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