You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
