so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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